How to make gay friends in London
To make gay friends in London, join something that meets every week, like London Frontrunners or the Pink Singers, and spend your daytimes somewhere sober, like Gay's the Word or the LGBTQ+ Community Centre.
London has one of the biggest gay scenes in the world, and it can still be one of the loneliest places to arrive into. The scene is built around nightlife and dating, both of which are good at introductions and bad at friendship. Making friends here is a separate skill, and most of it comes down to showing up to the same thing twice.
Start in the daytime, not the bars
The places where you can actually hear each other are open in the afternoon. Gay's the Word in Bloomsbury has been the UK's oldest LGBTQ+ bookshop since 1979 and hosts discussion groups, mostly for lesbians and for ace and aro readers. The Common Press on Bethnal Green Road is a queer bookshop and café where people are there to linger. Queer Britain near King's Cross is the national LGBTQ+ museum and free to walk into. And the London LGBTQ+ Community Centre in Bankside is a sober space that runs regular meetups and classes, so check its calendar for what's on that week. None of them need you to be drunk, dressed up, or anyone in particular. Queer Britain and the bookshops are places to visit. The groups below are where people expect to talk to you.
Join the thing that meets every week
A night out gives you an evening. A group that meets every Tuesday gives you people, because friendship is mostly repetition. London Frontrunners is an LGBTQ+ running club that genuinely welcomes beginners and meets through the week. If you'd rather sing than run, the Pink Singers and the London Gay Men's Chorus are long-running choirs. The Pink Singers audition twice a year, and the London Gay Men's Chorus has a waiting list, so register early. What it is matters far less than how often it is, so give any of them about six weeks before you decide it isn't working. Almost nobody feels part of something in week one. A first week for almost nothing: on Friday, London Friend's drop-in café. On Saturday, the community centre's book club or board games. Then your first Frontrunners run, which is free for a month.
Use the scene for what it's actually good at
Soho and Vauxhall are good for a night out and for meeting people. Turning a meeting into a friendship usually takes a second, sober meeting, and how to make friends in a new city as an adult covers how to ask.
There's probably a group for exactly where you're at
If you're older, London Friend — the UK's oldest LGBT+ charity — runs social and support groups near King's Cross, and Reengage offers free phone companionship for LGBT+ people over 75 who've become isolated. If you've only recently come out, or you're new to the country, the community centre and the bookshops above usually know which smaller groups are running right now. Ask them. The people who run these spaces are used to the question and glad to get it. There's more on this in making LGBTQ+ friends when you're over 50.
Where the community clusters
If you get to choose where you spend your time, it helps to be near other people like you. South London around Vauxhall and Kennington has long been a centre of gay life; East London, around Hackney and Dalston, has queer venues of its own; Soho is still Soho if you can afford it.
Where to start
| Group | What and when | Cost | How to start |
|---|---|---|---|
| London Frontrunners | Social runs of 5–14 km most days, across London | First month free, then £56 a year (£35 unwaged) | Fill in the new-runner form and email before your first run. A leader runs with you, so coming alone is fine |
| London LGBTQ+ Community Centre, Bankside | Sober café, plus monthly groups: walking, book club, board games, writing, improv, over-50s social | Drinks £2 at most. Most groups free or pay what you can | Walk in Wednesday to Sunday. Book groups on Eventbrite, because spaces are limited |
| London Friend, King's Cross | Friday drop-in café, Mattrix non-scene social for gay and bi men, over-50s social, creative writing | Drop-in refreshments free | Most groups need no sign-up. Check their social media for cancellations |
| Pink Singers | LGBTQ+ choir, Sundays 2–6pm, central London | Suggested donation around £30 a month, £10 subsidised | Email them, go to an open rehearsal, then a short audition. 18+ |
| London Gay Men's Chorus | Men's chorus, Mondays in Camden | Monthly fee, cheaper on a low income | Waiting list, then a voice check that isn't an audition. Waits can be years, but non-singing members can join straight away |
None of this is fast. Adult friendship in a city this size usually takes months, so be patient with yourself. But it does happen, on purpose, to the people who keep showing up. If you've only just arrived, it's worth reading how to make friends in a new city as an adult alongside this. And if you want a head start, you can make a free friend card here and tell us the kind of people you're hoping to meet. Finish it on Among Our People and you'll see who else is looking for friends near you. ✦