Making LGBTQ+ friends when you're over 50

17 October 2026

By the Among Our People team · Facts last checked 17 October 2026

Making LGBTQ+ friends over 50 works best through groups set up for it, like LGBT Foundation's Pride in Ageing or Switchboard's BOLD meet-ups in Brighton, and through daytime activities that repeat, such as OutdoorLads' leisure walks.

Nobody warns you that the scene shrinks as you get older. The bars skew young and the apps can feel like a room where you've quietly become invisible. Meanwhile the friends you made in your thirties have moved away or settled into couples' lives. Plenty of gay men and lesbians in their fifties and sixties end up rebuilding a social life almost from scratch. That's harder than it was at 25, but it's far from hopeless, and you've got a few advantages you didn't have back then.

You're not imagining it

In 2011 Stonewall asked YouGov to survey just over 2,000 people aged 55 and over. It found that 41% of the lesbian, gay and bisexual people lived alone, against 28% of the heterosexual ones. Only around a quarter of the gay and bisexual men had children, compared with almost nine in ten straight men and women. The figures are fifteen years old, and a lot has changed since. Newer UK figures are hard to find, so treat these as a rough guide. Where they still hold, friends end up doing more of the work.

Start with the groups made for exactly this

Some of the best places to begin were set up with you in mind. In Manchester, LGBT Foundation's Pride in Ageing programme is built for LGBTQ+ people over 50. In Brighton, Switchboard's BOLD project runs coffee meet-ups, a breakfast club and outings for LGBTQ+ people over 50. In London, London Friend has run social and support groups for decades, including an over-50s social twice a month. You might remember Opening Doors, the London charity for LGBTQ+ people over 50. It closed in March 2024, and Reengage now carries on part of its work through Rainbow Call Companions, a regular friendly phone call for LGBT+ people aged 75 and over who've become isolated. If you're in the US, SAGE does something similar through SAGEConnect, matching LGBTQ+ elders with volunteers for casual conversation. A phone call can be a gentler first step than walking into a room full of strangers.

Pick something you'd enjoy anyway

Walking is one of the easiest ways in, if it suits you. OutdoorLads, the UK's largest outdoor activities group for gay, bi and trans men, runs leisure walks through towns and cities that suit most abilities and usually stop at a pub or café. Joining is free. Walking side by side also makes talking easier than sitting across a table from someone you've just met, and if you go back next month you'll see some of the same faces. Seeing them again is how a nice afternoon turns into a friendship. Give it a few outings before you decide. If you've recently lost a partner, Switchboard's BOLD project in Brighton also runs bereavement groups for older LGBTQ+ people. If you live somewhere rural, OutdoorLads walks go well beyond the cities. And if you came out later in life, you won't be the only one in the room.

Use what you've got now

You come to this with things a 25-year-old doesn't have. You probably know what you enjoy by now, and you care a lot less about looking keen. If you have free time during the week, use it. Weekday mornings are when community centres and bookshops are quiet enough to actually talk to someone. And suggesting a second coffee is much easier once you've stopped worrying whether it looks too eager. Most friendships stall right there, with both people waiting to be asked, so be the one who asks.

Leave room for younger friends too

Friends your own age matter, and they'll understand things nobody else will. Even so, some of the best queer friendships cross a generation. A lot of younger LGBTQ+ people have never really known anyone who lived through the years you did, and plenty of them are curious. They keep you current, and you've already seen most of the things they're worrying about. It works best when you meet over something you both turn up for, a walk or a choir, so it feels like friendship rather than a favour.

Where to start

Group	Who and where	What and when	Cost	How to start
LGBT Foundation, Pride in Ageing	LGBTQ+ people 50+, Manchester	Relaxed meetup, first Saturday, 12–2pm	Free	Book on their events page
Switchboard BOLD	LGBTQ+ people 50+, Sussex	Coffee mornings, breakfast club, games, a heritage club, and bereavement groups	Not stated	Send the referral form
London Friend, Over 50s Social	LGBTQ+ people 50+, King's Cross	Second and fourth Wednesday, 11:30am–1:30pm	Not stated	Check their calendar, then turn up
London LGBTQ+ Community Centre	50+, Bankside	A Friday social and other 50+ groups	Most free or pay what you can	Book on Eventbrite
OutdoorLads leisure walks	Gay, bi and trans men, across the UK	Town and city walks for most abilities, usually with a pub or café stop	Joining is free and events are paid. New members get £25 off their first ones	Join online, then pick a walk
Reengage, Rainbow Call Companions	LGBT+ people 75+, UK	A 30-minute call every week or two, always with the same volunteer	Free	Freephone 0800 716543 or the online form
SAGEConnect	LGBTQ+ elders, US	Friendly calls with a volunteer	Not stated	Sign up on SAGE's website
Mann-O-Meter 50+ group	Gay and bi men 50+, Berlin	Museums, walks and picnics, first and third Saturdays, 2pm, in German	Not stated	Drop in
COC Seniors Café	LGBTQI+ people 50+, Amsterdam	Social afternoon, first Wednesday, 1–5pm	Not stated	Email them first

None of this happens in a week, at any age. Friendship runs on hours spent together, and how to make friends in a new city as an adult explains roughly how many. If you're also tired of everything being pointed at dating, how to make gay friends without dating is worth a read. And if you'd like a head start, you can make a free friend card here and tell us the kind of people you're hoping to meet. Finish it on Among Our People and you'll see who else is looking for friends near you. ✦

Sources

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