How to make gay friends in Berlin
To make gay friends in Berlin, join something weekly at Vorspiel, the city's queer sports club, and if your German's still coming, try Clique Bait, Mann-O-Meter's English-language group.
Berlin pulls queer people from all over the world, and for good reason — few cities give you as much room to be whoever you are. But the same things that make it exhilarating, the transience and the nightlife, make lasting friendship harder than it looks. Half the people you meet are passing through, and a night at a club is not the same as knowing someone. Making friends here takes what it takes anywhere: the same faces, more than once.
Start in the daytime, not at the club
Prinz Eisenherz, one of Europe's oldest gay bookshops, and the Schwules Museum are good for a sober afternoon, but they're places to visit rather than places people expect to talk. The museum's events are different. It runs talks and tours, some in English, and volunteering there is a good way to meet people. There's an open evening for new volunteers on the second Tuesday of the month.
Join the thing that meets every week
Vorspiel, the city's big queer sports club, has dozens of sports in one membership, from swimming to dodgeball to yoga. Pick a section on its website, contact the section leader, and you can try up to four sessions free. The sport barely matters; the weekly repetition is the whole point. Give it six sessions before you decide. A group rarely feels like yours in the first week or two.
Use the nightlife for what it's good at
Berlin's nightlife is great for meeting people, but a club is a hard place to get to know someone. Follow it up with a daytime coffee, and how to make friends in a new city as an adult covers how to ask.
There's a group for exactly where you're at
Mann-O-Meter, the gay men's centre near Nollendorfplatz, has a group for most stages of life. Clique Bait is its English-language social group for gay men aged 25 to 35, give or take five years, on the first Friday of the month. MiddleAgers is for men aged 30 to 50 and meets on the first and third Saturdays. There's also a 50+ leisure group and a Tuesday café for older men, both in German. If you've just arrived, Schwulenberatung Berlin runs New in Berlin, a ten-week English-language group for gay, bi, trans and intersex people who've moved there in the last year. The next one starts in December.
Where the community clusters
Schöneberg, around Nollendorfplatz, is the historic gay quarter and still the heart of it; Kreuzberg and Neukölln have plenty of queer bars and venues of their own.
Where to start
| Group | What and when | Cost | How to start |
|---|---|---|---|
| Vorspiel | Queer sports club, dozens of sports, open to everyone | €192 a year, €96 reduced. Up to 4 sessions free | Pick a section online, contact its leader, and register before your first session. There's an English page |
| Clique Bait, Mann-O-Meter | English-language social group, gay men 25–35 (give or take five years), first Friday, 7:30pm | Not listed | Check Mann-O-Meter's calendar for the next date |
| MiddleAgers | Gay, bi and pan men 30–50, first and third Saturdays, 7pm at Mann-O-Meter | Free, you pay for what you order | Just turn up |
| Mann-O-Meter 50+ group | Museums, walks and picnics, first and third Saturdays, 2pm, in German | Not listed | Drop in |
| New in Berlin, Schwulenberatung Berlin | Ten weekly sessions in English for people new to Berlin, Thursdays from 3 December | Not listed | Contact them first, as it's a closed group |
| Schwules Museum volunteering | Café, reception and events | Free entry for volunteers | Open evening on the second Tuesday of the month |
None of this is fast, especially in a city where people come and go, so give it longer than feels reasonable. If you've just moved, how to make friends in a new city as an adult is worth reading alongside this. And if you want a head start, you can make a free friend card here and tell us who you're hoping to meet. Finish it on Among Our People and you'll see who else is looking for friends near you. ✦